john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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