I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
