Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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