O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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