He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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