He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Where is the hickey?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
