We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize