he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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