HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
