I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
