how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
