Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
