4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
