this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
