I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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