I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
