I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
