i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
