Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
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