Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize