READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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