i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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