wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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