a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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