my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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