I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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