Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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