Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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