Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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