Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
