Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
