and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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