no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize