I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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