It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
