i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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