My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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