you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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