I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
