"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
