Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
