a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Quick, to the slutcave!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
