the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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