what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
