addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he quoted the bible to break up with me
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
