You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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