i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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