i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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