What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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