I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
