The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
