I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
