She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
