i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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