I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
