her vagine was all disorganized.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
