Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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