a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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