Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
