I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize