I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
